1. Good post. I would add to this that on fan-dominated sites like Tumblr, programs like XKit and Tumblr Savior are your best friend. Use them liberally to block posts about fandoms you don’t care for and other content that you dislike or find offensive. And don’t be afraid to whittle down your Friend/Follow list if your interests (or other people’s interest) change. Don’t be a slave to social media, or allow fear of what your friends/followers may think to rule the decisions you make about it. If you conclude that the healthiest thing for your spiritual life and mental health is to pare your followers down to a handful or even delete your account and walk away, don’t hesitate to do so.

    Not that I am speaking from recent and vivid experience or anything. *cough*

  2. Sparks of Ember says:

    I can see what you mean about #2 & #3 but I think #1 is excessive. Someone talking your ear off when you’re not interested is hardly an attack. It can be a little self-absorbed and unaware but it’s only natural for people to get excited about things they love and to want to share that love with others. And we *all* have our moments of getting carried away.

    I also don’t know why you think you can’t tell people their fandoms aren’t interesting – though putting it that exact way would be rude and brusque. Now fans who fall into #2 & #3 may not react well if told, “I’m glad you love it but it’s just not my cup of tea. Do you mind if we talk about something else instead?” But most are going to be understanding – after-all, they certainly have subjects they aren’t interested in either. Besides, no one wants to intentionally talk on and on about something that bores the listener and they’d probably be equally upset that the listener let them keep going and going.

    Many, many fans don’t require a mutual fandom but just the mutual fact of being fans period. Even if we are fans of different fandoms, there is still a camaraderie that we all know the joy of having enthusiasm for something. And if we care about the person/fan, then we should care about their interests all the more. I may not be a huge fan of Sailor Moon but I will read the manga, watch the anime and listen to my daughter rave about it for hours – and I’m never going to develop an implacable hostility toward it. Just like my mother watched episode after episode of Saved by the Bell merely because my siblings & I loved it growing up. Because it’s not about the fandom – it’s about the people and relationships behind it.

    Imo, fans who fall into the obsessive, attacking spectrum are usually indicative of a lack of maturity. But I’m not sure reacting with impatience and aggravation is any better. They are both going to have the equal effect of pushing people away.

  3. ionaofavalon says:

    Thank you for this. I have seen such nastiness for so long in fandoms. Fandoms are supposed to be fun! In most of the fandoms I am or was involved with, there is like this undercurrent of bullying and its so sad. Thank you for this!

What do you think?